The first and the last thing I want to say is how much I love you.

Really. As a congregation and in many cases individually.

Be that as it may, I am going to take the opportunity of this epistle to say something offensive:

I don't believe any of this stuff.

I don't believe in the creeds or the miracles or any of it.

You see, my story, in this epistle, is about a fight between belief and faith.

When I was six years old in Sunday school they told me about Adam and Eve and Noah and the Ark and I said to myself:

This makes no sense at all! These people are insane. And look at all that hatred and shame and killing! And why are they always calling me a sinner?How can they possibly expect me to believe this?"

And then I told my beloved mother that I would have nothing to do with this nonsense (and I made her cry which is not something you forget).

And that was it for me and the Church.

Along the way, I got a lot of tacit support from my father, who had a real chip on his shoulder about religion.Somehow he and his brothers and sisters had managed to get ex-communicated by the Roman Catholic Church for the sins of their divorced mother.

And so I cruised along for decades, secure in my disbelief. And you need to understand, if you turn your back on this all when you are six years old, it definitely stunts your growth in the belief department.

And yet:

Here I sit among you every Sunday. A non believer! Who lies when he speaks Episcopalian! The kind of person who made his mother cry, just on principle!

Are you offended yet? How about if I tell you that I expect to die a non-believer? Does that push any buttons?

So what am I doing here anyway? For thirty or forty years my views haven't changed. I was right! As far as I know I'll always be right! Wahoo!

But SOMETHING's changed...

I'm not six years old anymore, and being right isn't nearly as important as it used to be.It took me a long time to sort this out, but it turns out that while, for me, belief may be the enemy of faith, faith is far stronger.

In my little struggle, faith wins, hands down.

Which brings me to St. James, which for me is a communityhave faith in each other, different as we each may be. For example, I have faith that I can stand up here and say things like this and still be loved. This is not a community that claims to have all the answers, but it has room for those who do, and for those who don't.

It is the body of Christ; with many different parts, many different functions,all bound up by faith and Christ's example.

I am so grateful that I can be a part of this body. It turns out I was born with stunted belief bones, so I lean on those who have them! And I'm honored when you lean on me for whatever the things are that I do.

I have a feeling that we all struggle with our beliefs from time to time. I hope that my exaggerated story will shine a little light on the power of faith at such times.

As promised, the last thing I want to say here is how much I love you all.

Praise God.

Steve Clark