"Living Epistle at St. James's" Feb 13th '05 by Junior Warden, Sylvia Weston

Category:

LIVING EPISTLE

"Be Ready To Give an Account of the Hope that is in You!" (l Peter 3:15)

There are many chapters in Life�s Epistle and reflecting on mine, I have had some heart to heart

talks with God � even some challenging ones. Yes, I

have challenged God , and some of those times were

unearthed in my interview sessions ( at a Ministry Discernment Conference) last weekend.

It�s good to go back to history, because then you

remember from where you came � who brought you

through � and you have a Hope of where you are going.

What would life be without Hope � and in whom is our

Hope! I confess that my Hope is in Jesus.

I thank God for my parents who directed me to this path on

which I travel. Even though I grew up in a Christian

family, where church was the center of all I did, it

was during my 30�s - some very trying and difficult

times - that this Jesus (my Hope, Love, Joy, Peace,

Light, Bread of Life, Saviour - became real to me. I

acknowledge him in all I do, and he is the center of

my life!

Sundays are very special times for me, because I

love to gather with others whose purpose and focus is

to come together to worship, to praise God and to

learn of this Jesus. In this special place (not

necessarily in a building), we have a common goal, a

common purpose � that is belief in God, in his son

Jesus and belief in the Spirit of God always in our

midst, and present with us wherever we go!

I cannot help but tell about Jesus and what he has brought me

through and what he means to me. Must I be ashamed of

this Jesus who loves me? � No. There is a song I

learned when I was a child - "Jesus loves me this I

know, for the Bible tells me so".

The gospel of love is simple � yet very powerful. Love transforms. Even

the Psalmist says "No one whose hope is in Jesus will

ever be put to shame."

So I was perplexed, when I heard: "I�ve read what

others say about you, and I�ve read about all this

Jesus stuff, but I don�t know who you are?" This

"Jesus stuff" � is what puzzled me. (What�s the

meaning of this, I thought - � isn�t that what

Christianity is all about � this "Jesus stuff?") I

took the phrase "Jesus stuff" as a dismissal of the

very source of my existence. (Maybe not � and maybe

it was a challenge.)

Some days, for example, I don�t

even want to go to work � but because I know Jesus,

and that he is with me � that he will carry me

through whatever difficulties or obstacles I may

encounter, I pull myself up and pray for his Grace; I

make it through each day�one day at a time.

I replied � Well, it�s all there � I�ve told you

about growing up and the grounding of my faith, which

if I didn�t have, I would not be able to witness about

this "Jesus stuff!", as you have put it. You see,

Jesus is real to me, and if he were not, I would not

be here today!

But there�s something missing from this Spiritual

Autobiography; it is too short

(Should I have written a book?) The part that�s

missing is about your marriage! Tell me about your

marriage.

I said � It�s there � the information is there,

because it prompted questions on the subject from my

first two sessions.( I surmised that details were

required by this particular Interviewer.)

It was the last session of the day, and I was exhausted - I was

spent. I thought, Hmmm � this is a challenge for me�

Somehow, I regained strength to go deep into the

recesses of bruises that were healed. I was delivered

out of a moments of utter despair, and she wanted to

take me back.

I can only say: I made a claim � "Jesus was � and still is my strength, my deliverer,

my joy, my sustenance." Evidence was required.

And as though someone literally turned to a page

in the chapter of my living epistle, laid out before

me were episodes of abuse, brought about by

alcoholism. It created chaos in our household -

uneasiness, fear, conflict, and even danger.

Sometimes it�s calm and happy � and other times,

without warning, it was like a battlefield. (My heart

still aches today for families where this problem

exists, for I know the harm it does to good people,

even the one afflicted with the disease.) And you

know what, merchants profit from this!!!??

"It must have been very costly."

Interviewer said. My heart was heavy � "Yes, I nodded

� very costly." This is the chapter which was so

vivid:

My eldest son, who was about l4, decided

he had had enough, and one day after school, he didn�t

come home. Evening turned into night � and no sight

of him. I telephoned his friends � (the ones I knew

anyway), and no one knew where he was. Worry,

sadness, fear, despair overwhelmed me. Is he alright

� is he safe? The ensuing days I drove the streets of

Cambridge � hoping to see him. No luck.. I had to

muster the strength to take care of my other three

children. I heard from his friends that he attended

school each day � he just didn�t want to come home. (I

didn�t blame him � I would have left then too � had I

the courage.)

I finally learned that he was staying

with a classmate�s family in North Cambridge.

I telephoned the family and arranged to visit

with them. The three children and I went and I

thanked them for opening their door to my son. He was

in good hands. "Hope does not disappoint us" � says

Paul (Romans 5:5)

You see, we are never alone in our dark,

despairing moments. God sends his light to us through

his angels � the family who reached out and welcomed

my son into their home. I knew he was safe.

I continue to live in HOPE and I claim this

"Jesus stuff" as my guide. As Peter says, "Be

prepared to give an answer for the Hope that is in

you." My Hope is in Jesus! I can sum it up with

the songwriter;

"Through it all � I have learned to trust in Jesus � I

have learned to trust in God. Through it all, I have

learned to depend upon his Word."

I must think that the comment was indeed a

challenge. Bruises? � yes � costly? � yes. But I

have met the Saviour and he has healed my bruises. He

has brought me through many trials, and now I�ll say

with the Psalmist "My heart leaps for joy, and I will

give thanks to him in song."

The joy that I experience in knowing Jesus is a

"restoration of the years that the cankerworm has

eaten"

In Romans 5:5 � Paul says Suffering bears fruits of

perseverance, character, Hope and hope bears Love

which God puts into our hearts!

P.S. (to the listener or reader) WHAT DOES JESUS MEAN TO YOU?